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Friday 23 June 2017

The BIG Issue

I have followed Sooze, Her indoors, Him outdoors, since the beginning, and joined in the drooling over Betty.
Yesterday she blogged about that big issue.....WEIGHT.

So many of us struggle with weight issues, for many years I was super thin bony and I wore cover up clothes. You know the drill, high necks, long sleeves, long skirts or loose trousers.

Then I got married and had a baby WOO HOO lots of bulges and rolls that was obviously not "baby fat"as it was still there a year later.

I suffered and hid behind the trite "big is beautiful" and " not fat but luxury model" sayings, meanwhile avoiding mirrors and shop windows like the plague. 
Then slowly I began to believe the lies and became happy in my well stretched skin.
Until, that is, the day I was walking through a shop and saw myself in one of those mirrored columns, instantly my mind said "look at the state of her" then as I stepped aside to let "her" pass the penny dropped. 
I grabbed a dress off the rail and scuttled off to the changing rooms.

Not to try the dress on but to strip down to undies and look at myself in those unforgiving all round mirrors under the stark lighting.

When I got home I had a long talk with the then Hubby (who was, of course, the type that could eat as much of anything as he liked without putting on an ounce). Together we agreed to take action and went through the food cupboards. 

We prepared a meal plan (many years before it became the done thing) that would keep him from wasting away while stopping me from turning into the Michelin tyre woman.

It was hard, very hard. At that time I had a massive garden and walked a pair of GSD's twice a day and in good weather cycled everywhere. I should have been thin, or at least much slimmer than I was.
I could not exercise more, there were not enough hours in the day, instead I controlled what and how much that I ate.

S l o w l y, very slowly the weight came off and I went down to what felt comfortable and didn't look too bad. I was very far from the too skinny teenage years and was a bit scared of going too far.

I went out and searched the charity shops that were starting to feature in the high streets. I found a dress that was just a bit too tight and every Sunday morning I put that dress on and looked at myself in the long mirror ( I bought it specially for that reason).

If it was okay I ate normally that week, without adding any more of the treats that I still enjoyed.
If it was most definitely not okay I was extra careful, cutting down on the treats, for the week.
There were the odd weeks when the dress could not be zipped up and then I was back to being very careful, with no treats at all, for a week or two.

The years have flown by since then, I have been far too thin again and far too fat. Now, after several normal years, I am slowly putting the weight on, I say slowly as for several years my weight has fluctuated over half a stone. 
Lately though the top weight has been the norm and a bit more on top, measures must be taken.
Since I have had the heart issue my walking has been severely curtailed, Ben's increasing age has also slowed the speed down, double whammy. 
Then I am so into crafting that I sit for long periods, I do keep the sewing machine, overlocker and iron well apart but that is just a few steps.

Just to stir up the mud my long standing interest in all things food related has escalated. I am finding so much fun in experimenting with new ingredients and new menus. For instance vegan food has gone from every now and then to at least 3 days a week. It may be a healthy option but it is calorie rich.
The SO also likes pudding so I am making them more often and just to put the metaphorical icing on the cake (see what I mean about interest in food) jam season has arrived. 

I am not about to starve myself or embark on a regime of meal substitutes.
No Way Jose, not for this plump bird.

I am going to start making better choices, I made a rhubarb crumble on Wednesday. I replaced half the flour with oats cut the sugar by 1/3rd and used vitalite instead of butter. 
The SO had natural yogurt with his, mine was au naturel.
 I did add the juice of a sweet orange to the rhubarb and added 2 tsp instead of tbsp of sugar. and I served it in the smallest dishes that I have. That way we got 4 portions instead of the greedy 2 that has been the norm.

Dinner that day was  a very healthy salad. I cooked Quinoa and drained it well, then added edamame beans, peppers, celery, red onion, cucumber, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, a few pecan nuts just roughly chopped up and some shredded spinach leaves, this was served on a bed of lettuce and was divine. The SO had some tinned herring fillets with his and I had a slice of crustless quiche. both were in the fridge and needed using up.

Last night we had a repeat of the salad with some chicken and then the last of the crumble.
Tonight will be a new salad and I hope to cook some new potatoes from the garden to have with it. There will be no butter swirling round the plate.
I know about calorie counting and food balancing, cutting back on fats and sugar. I studied all this as part of my HND at college.
 Like many of us I have read reams of diet advice. I have all the information to get to the size that I would like to be and stay there.

Just why I, and all others, cannot do that is the million dollar question.

I call myself greedy, both here and in real life, but in truth I am reasonably careful in the amounts that I eat.

Breakfast is usually one slice of wholemeal toast with spread and marmalade, (today I had homemade peanut butter) lunch will be a sandwich or a bowl of salad. Yesterday I had a small apple, a slice of cheese, matchbox sizeish, the crust of a wholemeal loaf and a dollop of hummus and that was a big lunch.

The evening is my danger zone, dinner done, washing up done and kitchen cleared, I sit down and if my hands and mind are not occupied my mind is off.
I "fancy" cheese and biscuits, chocolate, cake, peanuts, crisps etc etc etc. no matter that I do not have all of these things, I still think that I want them.
Now you may understand why I knit so much, it isn't just because I like to.
I made the rhubarb and strawberry jam yesterday, it just filled 3 jars and I was quite put out that there was not a little "taster dish". I couldn't believe myself when I said this out loud.
I like to think that I was merely joking, but it could stem from my subconscious mind.

I will still be making jam, as I said my family and friends like a jar or three of Pam Jam, I will just make sure that I do not keep very many in the pantry.

Oh my word, I have banged on about this rather a lot.

What I wanted to say is that we are all different. 
We have different lifestyles and different metabolic rates

What works for one will cause another to fail miserably.

Also and most importantly weight should be about health and not about image. If your hips and knees are complaining or you can not run upstairs without turning lobster red and huffing and puffing (not from asthma or similar conditions) and if you can not see your toes, never mind touch them, it is most likely that you are carrying too much weight.

I am going to be blunt here, You Are Probably Fat. 
Not Big Boned.
 Not Carrying Lots Of Water.
 Nothing to do with "glands" 
It is probably because you eat too much and the wrong things.

 I am not being cruel, I had this same conversation with Francesca at the weekend. Too many business lunches and too much London socialising have piled the weight on. Her clothes are straining at the seams and I had to make her some more trousers and pj's, right smartish, as she was running out of things to wear.
I had to be very honest and speak to myself as well, it is only a matter of 7 lbs but the older you get the harder it is to lose the extra weight.
See that "only 7lbs" it is not ONLY anything.
It is half a stone. 
It is 7 bags of sugar. 
It is more than 2 bags of flour. 
It is just about 4 large loaves of bread.

Those stick thin models and actors, pop stars and wags are not thin naturally. At least not very many of them are.

They live on dangerously low nutrition levels, many have admitted to eating tissue to stem hunger pangs, it is all about image.

The Media giant promotes ultra thinness as being the only way. When a size 8 is considered obese there is a serious flaw somewhere.
I am a generous 14, back in my teenage days that was called a size 18, I was wearing an 8 and longed to add at least 1 size. Clothing manufacturers have colluded over the intervening years, in changing the standard sizing to help in the brainwashing and self delusion. 

If I have offended you then I am sorry, but ask yourself why you have reacted in that way and give yourself an honest answer.

                        TTFN                                           Pam

PS. If you found this as boring as paint drying I am sorry, call back tomorrow for something else. xx

PPS I did the walk and had an orange and a cuppa, when what I wanted was a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps.
Not good, just trying hard. I know that some days I will fail, as long as the fail days do not equal or outnumber the win days I will be happy.

35 comments:

  1. Thanks for your honesty. I can empathise. A house move, loss of regular supply teaching work, and a lovely new church where great food is served at most events has seen my weight rocket up by 1.5 stone. Been trying really hard, and lost 9lbs but have plateaued in recent weeks. Your post has encouraged me, thanks again

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    1. It is so difficult to lose weight and so so easy to gain it. We are rapidly becoming an obese nation and when I see the supermarkets pushing high sugar and fat foods and drinks with their BOGOF deals my heart sinks.

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  2. Sadly a health issue made me realise how overweight I was, I am still overweight but at least I now control it a little. Sadly I love food.

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    1. I too love food, not just eating it. I read about it, watch you tube videos, talk to other foodies for ideas and the blogging world is recipe rich. It doesn't help that the SO is equally keen.

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  3. Welll said that woman! I gave myself that talk on 25th January 2016 and today tip the scales at exactly 3 stones lighter. People ask my secret-it was sheer b****y determination and rethinking my shocking, indulgent eating habits. I was helped
    immensely by Michael Moseley's book "The blood sugar diet". Apart from the weight loss, I have had a tatoo and finally cut my shoulder length hair to a modern shortie cut. Carpe Diem! PS The lovely bag I won has been on my holidays with me and much admired! Thank you.Catriona

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    1. Congratulations on your phenomenal weight loss and WOO HOO on the rest.

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  4. I totally agree with your views that weight is about health,that we're different regarding metabolic rates and lifestyles, that the main cause,perhaps the only cause of overweight, is eating too much of the wrong foods.

    I would like to add from my experience that loosing and maintaining weight is almost science related. One has to watch the calorie intake and the balance between fat, carbo and protein categories. A veggie salad without some protein will leave you hungry. Healthy foods like nuts, avocado, hummus have to be eaten in very minimum quantity as they lead to weight gain. Jam is OK, no sugar added or done with Stivia sweetener. I satisfy my craving for sweets with a thin layer of blueberry jam on a 20-cal. cracker. I usually fail in the fruit department. I'm a great fruit lover, and sadly, because of fructose, they have to be limited too.

    Well, it isn't easy to manage weight, but it's possible.

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    1. Thank you for that input. It is a simple matter to know how to drop the weight but putting it into practise is not so easy.

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  5. Good post Pam. Like you, I was rail thin at one time...over the years weight has come up a bit. Post menopause has a bit to do with it as does a job where I sit in front of a computer. I've found my dad's advice to be good (and when he passed away at the age of 93, weighed about what he did in college): everything in moderation is ok. Key word: moderation. Depriving yourself of something you really want usually leads to a downfall later on. I make pies and cakes and homemade ice cream. I don't have them every day and when I do, I have a small serving. I'm losing weight slowly...need to move a bit more.

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    1. I am determined to get the fat moved off, I don't mind taking my time. The hard battle will be keeping it off.

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  6. Thanks Pam.....and yes I Am Fat! There, I've said it out loud (husband has just heard me and said 'ah well, that makes 2 of us!'). I'm having a good think about things this weekend, with a view to starting a healthy eating regime on Monday.

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    1. That is almost a snap. The SO has also stacked on too much weight and is joining me in this fight.

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  7. I would like to lose maybe another two stones but I am finding due to health issues that getting enough excercise is my biggest problem.
    I don't yet have the confidence to go swimming.
    My diet is good and healthy although I do have the odd wobble now and again.
    I'll just keep chipping away at it and hope I'll there one day-x-

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    1. Have you checked to see if your local pool does women only sessions. Mine does and most of go to help with weight loss. I am not going drastic but the weight is slipping off.

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  8. Great post Pam. I too could do with losing about 10lbs but it's so very hard. When the weather is hot the way it has been I don't feel like eating but then I don't feel like exercising either so that doesn't help :/ I'm eating smaller portions of our usual food and enjoying lots of salad. We've just come back from a week in Devon so it's back to proper meal planning I think. Good luck with your own regime :)

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    1. Just keep on at it, remember the tortoise won the race.

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  9. If you add about a half a teaspoon of baking soda to rhubarb and other fruits it will neutralize some of the acid and you can use much less sugar.
    Also, adding vanilla makes things taste sweeter without adding sugar.
    Applesauce is also a good replacement for up to half the oil in baked goods.
    Hope these help someone.

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    1. I quite like my fruit to be tart but why on earth I have not thought about vanilla I have no idea. I am on it now, thank you so much Sandy.

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  10. A good post, Pam. I could very easily gain weight if I gave in to cravings. I allow myself some treats, but it's a battle sometimes. Sometimes my willpower wanes a bit.

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    1. I am following your way of shopping and have now stopped buying any treats. I will still make cakes and cookies but in smaller quantities and substitute other things for sugar and butter.

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  11. Evenings are my downfall, that and a lack of self control. Good luck with your endeavours, you e done it before so I'm sure you will do it again xx

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    1. I have to do it, my heart is depending upon it.

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  12. Every winter a couple of extra pounds go on, not much but it does add up. I am walking like mad at the moment, doing 10,000 to 12,000 steps each day. It has not change my weight but I do feel better for it. We have cut so much out of our diet, it's getting hard to find something to give up. I am going the same way as my mum, I am fat, not ugly fat, just my clothes are to tight fat.

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    1. I hear you Marlene and am certain that you will win the war.

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  13. I MUST work on my self control again. Over the winter I mislaid it. I normally walk a lot, but can't in June as it's the pollen season and I try to stay indoors so it doesn't make my asthma worse. Come July I should be OK to walk LOTS again and then I find I can control my appetite a bit more. I need to lose at least a stone and a half - preferably 2 stone. Hide the crisps!

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    1. May the force be with you and roll on July. I no longer buy crisps.

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  14. What a good post. You're right, it's not rocket science - just eat less and move more. I'm guilty of eating rubbish and gaining/losing/gaining again. 5 years ago I was a good few stones heavier with a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, obviously as a result of my lifestyle. It was a wake up call and hence I changed my eating habits and lost weight. Im now a size 14/16 but am still classed as obese at 5ft 6 and 12.5 st. It's a never ending battle!

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    1. Where you're at now is exactly where I'd like to be (I'm also 5ft 6).

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    2. I hope that you both achieve your goals, I am trying very hard to get to mine.

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  15. As someone who used to be 27.5 stone now around 16 stone its hard work all you can do is plod on daily if you slip up start again I am starting again today best of luck.

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    1. You have done very well, I hope that you get there. You know that you are not alone.

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  16. totally with you on the diet thing, well said.To summarise my relationship with my body, I am fat, I eat too much, I am knitting more to reduce hand to mouth action in the evenings, I like a little glass of vino which inevitably ends up with me wanting a savoury snack, now trying to swap out vino for diet ginger beer, not quite the same.

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    1. I love ginger beer but I try not to drink fizzy drinks, they just make me more thirsty. Tea is my drink or sugar free orange squash.

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  17. I appreciate your honest view and being honest with the struggles you have had. I agree with you it is about health and not about weight. I actually am a thin woman although I have gained weight these past few years. What I notice about myself because even a walk can give me a headache is that I am not healthy even though I am thin. I eat right but don't move enough. No sugar, red meat, or gluten for me and I still feel I am not healthy enough.

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  18. Ah yes, the weight issue. Yours is a very honest account, thank you. I carry far too much fat on my body. I love to eat and have to cook for four kids every day. They don't do the salad for dinner routine that I myself would quite like... My downfall is bread at night. My head says no but my feet carry me to the kitchen to top a slice with jam and butter... I have stopped beating myself up for being fat. It is bad enough to see myself in the mirror, no need to add to the grief. Loosing weight is definitely something I need to do - when the time is right for me. First I need to heel my foot so I can go back to running, which I love but can't do. Right, of to read another post or two here and then hop over to bloglovin to follow your writing more regularly.

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